Not Regretting It Anymore
by Athrun-chan
Summary: Rasler had gone, and Ashe knew that. But what if the illusions of Rasler which were seen often by Ashe was not the way it is? What if they were the real Rasler? What if he did appear before her eyes, to guide her? Read and you'll know the truth!


**Disclaimer :** I do not own any of these characters in FF. ...Even if I do, I'll make this couple alive and become the most perfect couple anyone can see.

**Author's Note ****:** I am a die-hard fan of this couple, especially for Rasler himself. I barely hung my neck when I _played_ it and found out that he was really gone, which was like yearsago..

Well in short, I dedicated this miserable fanfiction of mine for this couple's sake.

This fanfiction's taken from Rasler's POV.

**Not Regretting it Anymore**** ...**

Nobody wanted to die.

Yet somehow I faced it bravely enough. Yet somehow I felt proud and satisfied instead of grim and regrets.

Because I died for my people, and most of all..for you.

I'm both hero yet fooler who only sought for a purpose. Being a man who protected what important of his. I'm both a knight or a prince who only fought for a clench of hopes.

For you, for us.

I dried my blood for our land. I dried my tears for you. I established my courage for our people. I cared for them more than I did for myself.

And you, my Lady Ashe.

I couldn't have any better objections on you, you're a woman every men wanted to have.

Yet I couldn't forget that day.

The day when I laid my eyes upon you for the last time.. You whispered, "_Come back to me" _that day, and I nodded. Deep inside, I wonder whether I would be able to fulfill it.

I tried to convince myself that we're going over this. That this isn't the last time I was standing here. I promised to be back again, here by your side. Yet somehow I knew it was pointless.. Deep down, I knew we're not going to pass it. I left you to fight for you. I left you to bring back what'd been ours.

Sincerity. Peacefulness.

I knew we'd only a short time together,but I wouldn't want to let it go..

I want to fight for you, to prevent them for going across the border toward your kingdom.

Mine had already lost, so I can't let them go. Can't let them go, can't..

You, and you, and you.

Unsheathed my sword, I had promised myself that I wouldn't give up until I prevent them. I had promised myself to keep alive for you who waited in there..

Yet I had failed.

I came back to your sight, finally once again. But there was no smile or reassuring look in your face. Instead, you, being you with those dark bags under your marvelous eyes. You, being you, with your plain black dress instead of white-beautiful dress you wore when we stood here last time.

Yes, I came back. Yet I failed you...

You knelt beside me, stroking my cold and pale hands which were clasped together. You called my name, hoping I would answer it with smile.

Yet nothing came. I just laid there, motionless. Emotionless, and breathless.

You called my name, while caressing my now rigid hairs you used-to fond of, hoping to catch a glimpse of my eyes again.

Yet I was still the same. My eyes still closed tightly.

You asked me how you would live from now on, hoping of the answers I used to say wisely.

Yet there was nothing but silence.

And you cried. The tears were staining my white iron-armor. The tears were being one with the flowers beside me, dropping on my face. Once again, before the sacred coffin was closed.

I left you once again while I was trying to come back.

But at least I'd finally fulfilled one of my promises, I finally came back to you.

I would lay here, in this cathedral. The place we set for our marriage. I started to be alive from this place on ward. And I ended here...

Then you fought. You started to unsheathe your sword and went against them who took yours. Who took your family, your people. Who took me..

You closed your heart, not allowing anyone to peek in. With that priceless ring lingering on your fingers, you thought nothing but revenge.

Yet somehow, he finally showed up. A man with his innocence and natural dense habit, slowly but surely melt your heart.

And you're confused. You tried to deny it, deny your new feelings. You tried to cover his images every time you're alone by having me in replacement.

No, Ashe. That's not what I wanted.

I didn't want your avenge. I didn't want to see your hatred. I didn't want to see the Ashe who was much more different.

I wanted to see the Ashe I once loved so much. The loving, warm-hearted Ashe.

So we met again.

When you attempted to reach my arm, no flesh or skin which touched your palm.

Just a ring. _My _wedding ring.

Used it, Ashe. Used it.

Because I wanted to apologize. I'm sorry for giving you all the dreams we kept talking about back then. About our family, _our _children, their names.. I even couldn't be able to leave you an heir, _our _heir.

I'm sorry for giving you nothing but lies. For making you look forward the day I'll come back.

I'm sorry for leaving you nothing but sorrow and grief.

I slowly realized that these times weren't enough. For me to save your face and smile and everything as one of my memories..

I didn't want your revenge. All I need was just your acceptance.

It hurt when I saw you,-with other man-. But nowadays, I realized I shouldn't be selfish.

So please. I knew I couldn't keep restraining you here, your heart. I couldn't keep you waiting for illusion dreams, always trapped and stuck between memories of us.

So go on. I finally accepted it, you.

I loved you, much more than you could imagine. I loved you so much I was willingly to let you go.. Because I loved you big enough I could give you to whoever my replacement was..

You stared with uncertainty at me, and I nodded. I let you go, I gave you permission.

For the last time, before I disappeared from your sight and never came back, I looked further at the land. Dalmasca. _My _land. _Our _land. My eyes couldn't let it go. Ah, how I wished I had the chance to rule it together, with you by my side.. How I wished for being able to protect our people. How I wished to raise our own children together in this land, hearing them called me 'Father'..

And when the regrets came, I dismissed the thoughts. What's done is done. I couldn't dwell on the past. I had to give Ashe the chance to move on..

Slowly, I could feel the lights radiated from my body, and slowly I felt my body lightened.

Here you were, standing by the bridge, looking at me with those beautiful sad eyes..

I didn't regret it. Because I knew I died for you and _our _people, and that's the right thing.

I didn't regret my decision to give _my _ring to my replacement someday.. Because I knew I wouldn't be able to be like this forever, staying and watching your miserable feelings. You need someone to accompany you, just like I used to do..

I'm free now. So please let your old feelings went with me.. Because I'd treasure it for you.

You didn't need to forget about me. Just locked our short-stories as your memories, and start the new ones.

Because I'd certainly did the same, with this feelings and our memories. Remember Ashe, I'm here and always by your side. Whether you felt the same way or not, I'm sure my love for you was just so eternal it couldn't be erased by anything..

Or even by anyone..

**Disclaimer's Note : **That's it. Hope it won't be as cheesy as I thought. I'm crying like a baby when I wrote it. I only wrote it in a day you know. As you may know, I only wanted to tell you that Rasler really loved her, no matter how short their times together as a married couple. And he loved her so much he willingly to let her go, to give up on him. Because he's free now.

And both of them know their love will last forever although the death parted them.


End file.
